The Internet Times Supplement

Hotter than a hot persons hot thing

In Food & Drink on February 21, 2007 at 9:38 pm

This is the worlds hottest chili… apparently.

If you want to make chili sauce it really is easy. Just go look at the recipes on the internet and away you go. I have adapted many to suit my own taste and some will testify to this being an obscure way of me getting revenge for something or other.

I have an old ceramic mustard jar which is my ‘fermentation tank’ where I place fresh chilies in layers with salt and garlic. Then I leave it…. for many, many months. The resultant goop is then converted to a rich and sumptuous sauce to take your breath away.

And talking of taking your breath away, Mr. T from Germany has had personal experience of my special “Mexican Gas Chambers”. Called this not because of their flatulent effects but because this literally takes your breath away. You end up with hiccups and cannot stop. The recipe is simple.

Take your favourite chili peppers. Stubby fat green and hot ones are good. Chop off the tops, remove the seeds and stand them in a whiskey tumbler or similar. Into each pepper pour a white spirit (tequila is best but anything suitable strong and evil is good. On top of this add double cream, yogurt, quark or similar – anything suitably creamy. Stick these in the fridge (or freezer for a short time – do not freeze!). When cold enough take them out and, just prior to eating, squeeze lemon juice over the top of them all. Take one, pop it straight in your mouth, and chew. Enjoy.

You do the above at your own risk and appropriate level of stupidity. I personally can cope with these. You may not. Your call.

Should you eat too much chili then THE simple solution is to drink milk or eat yogurt as the interaction between the dairy product breaks down capsaicin. Dried bread is good too.

Fluids (tea, beer, soda/pop) will just spread the capsaicin around even more and definitely make matters worse.

Incidentally, one of the commonest mistakes people make regarding chili peppers is that it is the seeds that are hot. The hot part of a chili is near the white placenta glands. Capsaicin, the “HOT” in chili, is an extremely powerful and stable alkaloid produced in a crystalline form by glands at the junction of the pepper’s placenta and pod walls.

If I want to reduce the fire in a chili I split the chili with a sharp knife from bottom to top, fold it open and scrape from the bottom to the top in one single motion, removing the white internal ribs and cutting off the hanging top as the last action. I do this on a piece of toughened glass. Additionally I do this while wearing plastic sandwich bags over my hands. It prevents the forgetful rubbing of the eye/s later on which can result in significant pain and potential serious problems. There is also nothing quite like forgetting you have been chopping chili and then getting a call of nature. Guys, you really do not want to do this at home. Trust me. It burns and can last for hours.

My friend Oroko from Kenya brought me some chilies for me when he came back from there after a home visit. Standing in the UN Club in Islamabad he presented me with a big bag of the most delicious looking fresh chilies. I naturally dived straight in and ate a couple there and then. Thanks, Oroko.

If you are a chili aficionado then you will know that the different varieties of chili have quite distinctive flavours that set them apart. It is not all about the level of hotness although there is an endorphin rush that you get from that.



The ones I had from Oroko were fiery hot but with an incredible sweetness to them. There were two varieties and they have adapted to their new home in Spain wonderfully. An unsuspecting person in the bar dipped in and tried one. To say it spoiled their evening was an understatement as, in addition to chewing the chili they spat it out into their hand. At this point their eyes were watering so they wiped the tears from their eyes with the tissue … they had wiped their hands with. Oh dear…

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